The First Rule of Reversing My Age Club
Congratulations! You are now a member of Reversing My Age (RMA) Club! Perhaps you didn’t mean to join this small, but growing, club of like minded individuals, but merely by virtue of reading this sentence makes you an important member. There are all sorts of people from all walks of life from literally all over the world that are members, just like you. Members join for all sorts of reasons. Some of you are into health and fitness. Some eat organic; or Keto; or OMAD. Maybe you are afraid to get sick; or die. Maybe you just want to grow old gracefully. Maybe you are trying to lose weight, but have plateaued and can’t seem to lose anymore weight no matter what you do. Maybe you want to be a part of something exciting and bigger than yourself. Regardless of your reasons for joining, as a new member, it is critical that you learn the first rule of RMA Club:
The first rule of Reversing My Age Club is:
We do not talk about Reversing My Age Club.
What Is Reversing My Age Club?
On the surface of it, RMA Club is a place for people to learn about present and future methodologies for slowing and even reversing the aging process. In reality, it is so much more. This is a place for the deepest of the deep thinkers. It offers you, the club member, an opportunity to redefine yourself. Define yourself after work and on weekends doing things that are amazing; things that some people would say are impossible. Like reversing your age.
Why Do We Not Speak About RMA Club?
There are several problems with talking about RMA Club. Primarily, if you tell people you are a member of a club whose mission is to reverse one’s biological age, not only will you raise eyebrows, they will think you are a psycho. Rather than automatically getting labelled that weirdo at work, avoid the social stigma by never under any circumstances discussing your practices and beliefs associated with RMA Club.
Even the “normal” subjects RMA covers can be controversial and make people align against you. Why? You risk upsetting their nice, cozy view of the world in which everything everyone does and eats is safe because the government and businesses care about us and want only what is best for everyone. You and I both know these people live in a fantasy world. But try explaining that pesticides are bad for you and you can’t wash them off to a bunch of coworkers who have been brainwashed by a constant psychological assault of commercials from Monsanto and Big Food. The commercials they are bombarded with aren’t there merely to sell products; more insidiously and in actuality, they are bribes paid to media outlets to control the message.
Just about everything you see, hear, and read is produced by a handful of corporations motivated by one and only one thing; profit. These powerful corporations essentially create the worldview of the masses, whether individuals recognize it or not. Attempting to upset the status quo can be very upsetting to people stuck in the matrix. Do so at your own risk. You would do well to remember the story of the guy who escaped Plato’s cave. He returned to the cave and told everyone that the images on the cave walls were actually illusions created by shadows cast by the light emitted from fires. What happened to that guy? They stoned him to death.
Aside from the risks associated with social stigma, we have to deal with the injuries and/or physical manifestation of club membership. You may damn well be slightly injured most of the time. Sore Muscles. Stress fractures. Tendonitis. You’ll likely fall off your bike eventually. Or, you’ll enter a half, full, or ultra marathon and come to work limping badly. Or, you’ll lose a ton of weight quickly. Or grow impressive muscles. No matter how your appearance changes, and make no mistake, it will change, you’ll have to explain it. For the Love of God, do not tell anyone that you are a member of Reversing My Age Club! Lie! Make something up!
We may naturally want to talk about our efforts to reverse our age, but resist the impulse because it will lead to arguments and misery. Rather than talking about it, you’ll earn badges of honor and accomplishment that have intrinsic value. These badges, whether they be a trophy, belt buckle, or yellow belt, or 5K finish, or marathon finish, or tri finish, or bike race, or chess tournament, or writers workshop, or a certain body weight, or cycling 100 miles do not need to be talked about because they will become part of your very being and essence. Those who know you well will notice something different about you. You’ll carry yourself with more purpose and confidence.
RMA Club Techniques
The following is a list of activities and methods RMA Club members routinely practice along with an explanation of why we should never discuss them:
Fasting/Intermittent Fasting – Tell someone you’re fasting. I dare you. Here’s what’s going to happen:
Sally from Human Resources is likely to waddle up to you in the break room while you are surrounded by a bunch of obese coworkers. She will say, “I heard you were fasting. I’m very concerned for your health and safety and it also may be affecting your job performance. I think you should stop.” Nevermind that fasting is likely to improve performance and health, but the bias of Sally and all your fat colleagues is that fasting is “bad” and/or dangerous. You see, when people see someone making profound change for the better, they are automatically suspicious of it. Your efforts also make the obese person feel responsible for their own poor physical shape. We can’t have that…
Whoever you decide to tell you are fasting will almost certainly reply, “Oh, I heard about that fad. It’s so unhealthy.”, or “ You’ll go into starvation mode.”, or “My uncle is a doctor who totally understands fasting and he said it is the absolute worst thing you can do for your health and metabolism.” Dr. Jason Fung does not totally understand fasting. Dr. Valter Longo does not totally understand fasting. Nobody does. The person warning you of your own imminent death due to fasting is likely obese. Do you see the irony!?
Ultra Endurance Activities – Mention participating in any ultra endurance activity and you are likely to hear, “ Why would anyone want to do that?”, or, “You’re totally going to destroy your joints!”, and, “What are you running from? Here, take my therapist’s number.” RMA Club members participate in ultra endurance activities because participants have been shown to have substantially longer telomeres than couch potatoes. Physical endurance activities are conclusively shown to improve just about every single biomarker of aging along with improving overall general health. Ignore these buffoons, but keep your activities to yourself.
Mega Dosing Vitamins – This one always cracks me up. If you mention taking a number of different vitamins or a “heavy” dose of a particular vitamin, you will likely hear, “Vitamins don’t work.” Or, “Be careful, vitamins are dangerous and can kill you.” Find me one, just one, case of someone killed by vitamins. Alternatively, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, 49,068 people overdosed (died) on opiods in 2017 alone. Do you see the irony!?
Mouth Taping – Mouth breathing is really bad. If you discover you are a mouth breather, I encourage you to see a doctor and break the habit, however possible. But for goodness sakes, DO NOT, under any circumstance, tell anyone you tape your mouth shut before bed. If you do, you will invariably encounter a blank, open mouth stare before the individual recovers their senses enough to stammer, “You do what??? Nooooo! That’s insane! You’re going to suffocate in your sleep.”
RMA (Near) Future Technologies and Concepts
Below are some incredible technologies and concepts RMA Club covers, and in some cases, believes quite strongly in. Do not, however, discuss any of the below in public because doing so would put you at risk of getting hauled away in a straight jacket.
Technological Singularity – According to Wikipedia, the Technological Singularity,
“is the hypothesis that the invention of artificial superintelligence (ASI) will abruptly trigger runaway technological growth, resulting in unfathomable changes to human civilization. According to this hypothesis, an upgradable intelligent agent (such as a computer running software-based artificial general intelligence) would enter a ‘runaway reaction’ of self-improvement cycles, with each new and more intelligent generation appearing more and more rapidly, causing an intelligence explosion and resulting in a powerful superintelligence that would, qualitatively, far surpass all human intelligence.”
This is something that will, unquestionably, happen. How and when, specifically, it will play out remains a giant question mark. Some think the Singularity will literally wipe out the human species, while others think it will usher in a Utopian Period. If the latter, one can reasonably expect mind blowing life extension technologies to emerge quickly. The Technological Singularity is something beyond the capability of most people to contemplate, let alone, discuss. Don’t bother trying. You’ll lose most people in about seven seconds.
Transhumanism – is an international intellectual movement that aims to transform the human condition by developing sophisticated technologies to greatly enhance human intellect and physiology. The most common transhumanist thesis is that human beings will eventually be able to transform themselves into different beings with abilities so greatly expanded from the current condition as to merit the label of posthuman beings. Transhumanism and the Technological Singularity are closely related and most who subscribe to one philosophy also believe in the other.
I don’t just intend to wait around for the technological singularity to happen (Kurzweil predicts 2045). I intend to be an active participant, blazing my own path into the future. Now I’m working on reversing my age by lengthening my telomeres. In a decade I may chop off a hand, or scoop an eyeball out of its socket. Why? Because I believe I will likely have the option to replace both with significantly superior versions. Sick thought? Inconceivable? Scientists are diligently working on both technologies right now. Once we can replace most body parts with something significantly “better,” how will society be affected? Just imagine the implications! But please remember to never tell anyone you are looking forward to the day in the near future when you can swap out your “meat” hand for a bionic one.
Parasymbiosis – Basically, this is the process in which old blood is replaced with young blood in an effort to heal, halt the progression of disease, extend life, and reverse aging. Sounds like something out of a vampire movie, right? That couldn’t possibly work? Guess again, my skeptical friend. It has been proven to work on mice; repeatedly. There are no good studies of it on people (there are glaring ethical issues), though a company called Ambrosia conducted a trial in which customers paid to participate and concluded, “Older people who received transfusions of young blood plasma have shown improvements in biomarkers related to cancer, Alzheimer’s disease and heart disease.” Guess what. Rich people are already doing doing this, they just keep it quiet and call it rejuvenation therapy. If you’re wealthy, and in the know, yeah, believe it or not, you likely have a young blood source. Don’t believe me. See here, here, and here.
Whole Brain Emulation – is a proposed technique which involves transferring the information contained within a brain onto a computing substrate. The brain can then be simulated, creating a machine intelligence. The concept is often discussed in context of scanning the brain of a person, known as mind uploading. You can think of that as potentially living in virtual reality; forever. The only innovations necessary are greatly increased processor speed and scanning resolution. Advocates of WBE claim technological improvement rates such as Moore’s law will make WBE inevitable. If this subject interests you, you will likely enjoy the series Altered Carbon on Netflix.
Human Head Transplants – Sergio Canavero of Italy and his colleague Xiaoping Ren of China plan to transplant a human head from a living person onto a donor cadaver “immenently”. The two surgeons, considered by many peers as reckless maniacs, say the head donor will be someone with a degenerative disease, whose body is wasting away while his or her mind remains active. The body donor, meanwhile, will likely be a someone who died of severe head trauma but whose body was left unscathed. The researchers claim to have been perfecting the technique on mice, a dog, a monkey, and, recently, a human cadaver. This is real life Frankenstein! Canavero has moved the intended surgery to China because no American or European institute would permit such an operation. While this topic is safe to mention in the context of a bizarre news story, DO NOT tell anyone you are saving up for the day in which a younger body would prove useful.
Part of the reason the first rule of RMA Club exists is because I expect you to break it. I want you to smash all kinds of rules to break out of traditional ways of thinking and doing things. Don’t do what everyone else is doing. Think critically. Question authority. No, question Everything and Everyone; including me. Engage in furious debate. How else are we to get better, improve, and gain knowledge? Turn off your TV. Meditate. Find the “off” switch of your brain. Don’t listen to commercials. Minimalize. Accumulate data. Figure out what works for you. If you do decide to talk about RMA Club to a close friend who you think may be like minded; whisper, and prepare yourself for a fight.